I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
