When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
