I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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