Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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