There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
