Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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