wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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