I queefed so loud it echoed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
