Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
