if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize