Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
