Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
