Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
