just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
