If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well you can't waste a boner
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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