Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize