please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
