sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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