he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
