Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
