Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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