She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
