ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize