The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
