i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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