Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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