I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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