At least make sure they are 18
Why
My cat gives me a boner
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
