You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
