i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nicole vs. Life
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
