If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
