As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
