the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
