Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
