he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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