No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
