Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm too high and old for this...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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