Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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