HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize