u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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