so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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