sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize