Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The dick lei will go down in squad history
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
