I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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