They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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