; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize