im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
