He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
