YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
