this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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