Jerry, you need to find god
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
