i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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