Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
