I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize