So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
