I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
