Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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