i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
