and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
