Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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