What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
