I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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