dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize