Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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