you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
