i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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