I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
