i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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