I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
