Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My life is pants optional.
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