ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
