the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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