I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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