goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
