I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
