you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
